The Quote Garden ™
I dig old books. ™
Housework & Chores
YARDWORK & HOME REPAIR,
...you sometimes see a woman who would have made a Joan of Arc in another century and climate, threshing herself to pieces over all the mean worry of housekeeping. ~Rudyard Kipling
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. ~Erma Bombeck
Cleaning your house
While your kids are still growing
Is like shoveling the walk
Before it stops snowing.
THE SLOPPY HOUSEKEEPER'S ALMANAC
~Phyllis Diller, "How To Get The Chenille Marks Off Your Face When The Doorbell Rings," Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints, 1966
Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don’t do it. ~Author unknown
Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy. ~Author unknown
...there was no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. ~Quentin Crisp
I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home... I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby. ~Nancie J. Carmody
So women began going to work, and now nobody does housework... The obvious and fair solution to this problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything. ~Dave Barry, "A Solution to Housework," Dave Barry's Bad Habits: A 100% Fact-free Book, 1987, davebarry.com [essay was originally published in 1982 or 1983 —tg]
Washing — 30 minutes
Drying — 60 minutes
Putting away — 7 to 10 business days
We labor to make a house a home, then every time we’re expecting visitors, we rush to turn it back into a house. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com
Plain Sewing and Cooking are so old-fashioned that they are fast becoming new Fads. ~Minna Thomas Antrim (1861–1950), Don'ts for Bachelors and Old Maids, 1908
There must be a way to make ironing less dull. Zumba ironing? Ironing Pilates? Ironing yoga? Ironing while walking? While walking on a treadmill? While stepping? While climbing? Or an iron with a cold compartment for M&Ms. ~Donna A. Lewis, Reply All, 2016
Cleanliness is next to impossible. ~Author unknown
I am afraid I shall be too busy washing my dishes to pay many visits. The washing of dishes does seem to me the most absurd and unsatisfactory business that I ever undertook. If, when once washed, they would remain clean for ever and ever (which they ought in all reason to do, considering how much trouble it is), there would be less occasion to grumble; but no sooner is it done, than it requires to be done again. On the whole, I have come to the resolution not to use more than one dish at each meal. However, I moralize deeply on this and other matters, and have discovered that all the trouble and affliction in the world comes from the necessity of cleansing away our earthly stains. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, 1844
A new broom sweeps clean but the old broom knows the corners. ~Irish saying
I dusted once. It came back. I'm not falling for that again. ~Internet meme
The meal is complete
when the kitchen’s neat.
Vacuums don’t clean houses. People clean houses. ~Everybody Loves Raymond, "Humm Vac," 2001, written by Lew Schneider [S5, E18, Marie Barone]
The best way to keep teenagers out of hot water is to put some dishes in it. ~Arnold H. Glasow (1905–1999)
This mess is a place! ~Author unknown
There were times, indeed, when the vigor she put into her work was more of a relief to her feelings than it was an ardor to efface dirt... ~Eleanor H. Porter, Pollyanna, 1912
I like hugs and I like kisses,
But what I really love is help with the dishes!
The trouble with living alone is that it’s always your turn to do the dishes. ~Author unknown
...this endless struggle without victory over the dirt... Few tasks are more like the torture of Sisyphus than housework, with its endless repetition: the clean becomes soiled, the soiled is made clean, over and over, day after day. ~Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1949, translated and edited by H. M. Parshley, 1953
...housework, if it is done right, can kill you. ~John Skow, about the message of Erma Bombeck’s early columns in the 1960s, "Erma in Bomburbia," in Time, 1984
Spring Cleaning! A most idiotic name! Any man could tell you it's actually spring dirtying. All the dust that has settled down quietly, and doesn't show and only asks to be left alone, germs and all, is stirred up. Everybody is choked and as far as possible infected. Instead of being under the carpet, it's on your furniture and in your food. There's nowhere to sleep and nothing to eat; nowhere even to sit down. The moment you try disaster comes. You are told to get out of the way; you are pushed here and there; you step in things you are warned to avoid; you—oh, confound it all!... It's not till the next spring cleaning comes round that you find your most treasured possessions, and then the cleaner sees to it that you lose them again instantly. ~Edward Burke, "How Wives Are So Untidy," My Wife, 1917
Thank God for dirty dishes,
they have a tale to tell;
while others may go hungry,
we’re eating very well.
I am an immaculate housekeeper. I'm clean, but the house is a mess. ~Phyllis Diller, "How To Get The Chenille Marks Off Your Face When The Doorbell Rings," Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints, 1966
Always keep your home presentable, assuming you keep a home for purposes of presentation. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com
Well, housecleanin' time is with us once more;
And, landsakes alive, it's an awful chore!
What with scrubbin', rubbin', and washin' paint,
It's not any picnic; you bet it ain't!...
For it has to be done each Spring and Fall:
The attic and cellar, bedrooms and hall.
Each room, in its order, gives up its dirt,
Till I am weary and my back does hurt!
~Gertrude Tooley Buckingham, "Housecleanin' Time," 1940s
I got the blues thinking of the future, so I left off and made some marmalade. It's amazing how it cheers one up to shred oranges or scrub the floor. ~D. H. Lawrence, 1913
Please don’t feed the dust bunnies. ~Author unknown
DUST Mud with the juice squeezed out. ~Charles Wayland Towne, The Foolish Dictionary, Executed by Gideon Wurdz, Master of Pholly, Doctor of Loquacious Lunacy, etc., 1904
Dust is particles of the past. If you clean, you're wiping away all those good memories. ~Terri Guillemets
Instead of organizing and cleaning my house, I pin ideas on how to organize and clean my house. The irony is not lost on me. ~Author unknown [but obviously a Pinterest user with a sense of humor —tg]
Law of Window Cleaning: It’s on the other side. ~Author unknown
If the shelves are dusty and the pots don’t shine,
it’s because I have better things to do with my time.
A clean house is the sign of a boring person. ~Author unknown
Dull people have immaculate homes. ~Author unknown
Dust is just a country accent. ~Author unknown
There is no daily chore so trivial that it cannot be made important by skipping it two days running. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com
Sometimes clean feels empty. A bit of clutter and dirt gladdens the heart and affirms a life in progress. ~Terri Guillemets
Scrub and polish,—sweep and clean,—
Fling your windows wide!
See, the trees are clad in green!
Coax the spring inside!
Home, be shining fair to-day
For the guest whose name is May!
~Louise Bennett Weaver and Helen Cowles LeCron, "May," A Thousand Ways to Please a Husband with Bettina's Best Recipes, 1917 [Spring cleaning! —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]
At Cleaning Time with Proud or Mean
The Woman with the Broom is Queen.
~Arthur Guiterman, "Of Cleanliness," A Poet's Proverbs, 1924
She will escape from the rut of small domestic household cares, which I have heard you so often say eat the soul out of a woman... She will be out in the open and free from the crushing yoke of conventionalities which hem the most of us in like prison walls. ~Robert Grant, "The Fall of the House of Padelford," 1892
This house is protected by killer dust bunnies. ~Author unknown
God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. ~Author unknown
Last saved 2022 Jan 25 Tue 08:26 PST